This letter has been going around:
To my children’s teachers:
I apologize in advance for the condition my children might be in when you see them on Thursday morning. You will have your work cut out for you, I can assure you.
They will likely be very tired. They have been going to bed late and sleeping in because, frankly, that is what I call a great summer.
Their brains are not in learning mode. If they read a book this summer, I am not aware of it. I sure didn’t ask them to. I’m sure they read the back of the cereal box full of processed ingredients. That may be it.
Their handwriting will likely be chicken scratch for a few weeks, at least. Well, with Anderson…..the chances of improvement are slim to none. That ship has sailed. You will want him to type any written work so it will be legible. I’m pretty sure my son hasn’t held a pencil since May.
There has been no practicing of math facts or algebra review. My oldest counted money and tickets at the arcade by the beach. Pretty sure that was the extent of math practice this summer.
They aren’t looking forward to seeing you. In fact, my soon-to-be first grader cried tonight just thinking about having to sit in your classroom. Have fun with that.
My rising freshman told me he didn’t need to see you a day early on back-to-school day because, and I quote, “I’ll figure it out on the first day.” Preparedness is not his strong suit, so consider yourself warned.
No, they aren’t ready to see you. To be honest, I’m not ready for them to see you either. Please don’t curse me under your breath when you receive them into your classrooms on Thursday morning. Know that while they may be underprepared, it is because they have been busy being children. Because in the blink of an eye, they will be grown men holding down careers and supporting families of their own. And lazy summers will be a thing of the past.
I do promise to make sure homework is done and they are in bed on time during the school year. I promise they will be well-behaved and obedient because they have been trained, and they know how consequences follow them home. Please remember, however, that they are boys and will need a daily outlet for the energy they so carefully try to constrain while you are teaching. Recess isn’t negotiable for them.
Take care of my boys. You have them for as many waking hours as I do each week, and that is no small thing.
As always, thank you for overworking for pennies so that my kids can learn. I promise to be generous with the gifts and service in your classrooms.
A Summer-Loving Mom