Hurts So Good
Two days ago I had my third back surgery (and 9th overall). While not nearly as huge an operation as my spinal fusion 11 years ago (the same exact surgery as Tiger Woods’), I still feel like i’ve been hit by a bus.
This was technically a voluntary surgery, since it was not a matter of life and death. So, I’m having to remind myself that this temporary pain is worth the freedom and growth I’ll gain from it. (My dad used to always say, when someone else would accidentally hurt themselves: “Boy, won’t that feel good when it stops hurting!)
This kind of temporary pain for the sake of growth is relatively easy to understand when it comes to bodily pain, but it can be a lot harder when we’re talking about emotions. Why in the world would anyone voluntarily seek out emotional pain? One word: improvement.
In theory, we all know we could stand to improve in certain areas, but hearing other people tell us those areas can throw us for a loop. Especially when we don’t see it coming. For this reason, most of us avoid doing the very thing that’ll not only make these remarks easier to take, but eliminate the need for many of them in the first place. What is that one thing? Simple…we ask people we trust to give us feedback.
It will hurt at first, that’s for sure. Especially if we haven’t done such an exercise in a while. Thankfully, though, it gets easier the more you do it. And thankfully, just like lifting weights, we grow stronger the more we do it. When we learn to seek out this type of honest criticism from those closest to us, and then listen without defending ourselves, we grow both ourselves and our relationships with those people.
Be careful, though; don’t ask people how you could improve and then tell them they’re wrong. That’s even worse than never asking in the first place. This doesn’t mean agree with everything they say; it just means don’t bite the hand that feedbacks you.
(Sorry for the pun.)
Article taken from: The Daily Pause byHal Runkel