Joey Bag o’Donuts

St. Francis of Assisi said, “It’s no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.”

Joey Bag o’Donuts

I admit it. Even though I write about characters who share perfect messages I am far from perfect. I wish I was but I am a flawed human being. I don’t drink, do drugs (never have), smoke or gamble. I’m faithful to my wife and try to be the best father and person I can be but there are times I fall short.

Just ask the parents of the girls on my daughter’s lacrosse team. Sometimes I got emotional at the games and yelled at the refs when they made bad calls. I’m not proud of it and knew it was wrong but in the heat of the moment the situation got the best of me. I’m sure the parents were thinking “and this guy writes about positivity?” I apologized to them and said sometimes my alter ego “Joey Bag o’Donuts” shows up. It became a running joke. I vowed silence at some games and the parents asked “where’s Joey?” I said, “He wasn’t allowed to come tonight.” Other times after a horrendous call, where my daughter was slammed with a lacrosse stick, I would blurt out something and they said, “Joey is in the house!”

I’m not naturally a positive person. People think I am because of the books I write. I have to work really hard at staying positive. But I think it’s made me a good teacher because I am a student first who teaches what I have learned and continue to learn on my journey. If you like my books, please know I could have never written The Energy Bus if my life wasn’t falling apart before I wrote it. George was based on me. So I’m thankful I was a mess so I could then write a message to help others.

I’ve had people tell me that they expect me to be perfect because they love my books and, truth be told, I hate when I let them down. I know the best way to teach is to model it which is why I continuously strive to improve. My wife will attest I’m not the same man I was when I first started writing. I’m more patient, loving, kind and giving. Not all the time. But most of the time.

St. Francis of Assisi said, “It’s no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” I want my walking and preaching to be one in the same. That’s why I’m sharing this with you.

Some said I should create an alter ego Joey Bag o’Donuts Twitter account. But I don’t want to add more negativity in the world. There’s enough of that. I want to share the best of me, not the worst. My writing represents the best of me and I feel like my life is about being the person I am when I am writing. It’s about living the message I write about. That’s who I strive to be.

How about you?

Maybe you don’t yell at refs but I’m sure there’s something you are not proud of. I’m sure you fall short of perfection. We all do. The good news is you can change and strive to become the best version of yourself. No matter what you have done in the past I believe in second chances. I believe in a growth mindset. I believe forgiveness is the ultimate weight loss. I believe people can change for the better. I believe you can start right now.

There are perfect messages but not perfect people. Our goal should be to live the message as much and as often as possible. When we fall short let’s admit it, learn from it and get better because of it.

Reblogged from Jon Gordon Newsletter

Are You A Positive Person or a Negative Person?

The Benefits of Positivity

and Cost of Negativity

11 Benefits of Being Positive:

1. Positive people live longer. In a study of nuns, those that regularly expressed positive emotions lived an average of 10 years longer than those who didn’t (Snowdon, 2001).

2. Positive work environments outperform negative work environments (Goleman, 2011).

3. Positive, optimistic salespeople sell more than pessimistic salespeople (Seligman, 2006).

4. Positive leaders are able to make better decisions under pressure (Institute of HeartMath, 2012).

5. Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative interactions, whereas when the ratio approaches 1-to-1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce (Gottman, 1999).

6. Positive people who regularly express positive emotions are more resilient when facing stress, challenges, and adversity.”

7. Positive people are able to maintain a broader perspective and see the big picture, which helps them identify solutions, whereas negative people maintain a narrower perspective and tend to focus on problems (Fredrickson, 2009).

8. Positive thoughts and emotions counter the negative effects of stress. For example, you can’t be thankful and stressed at the same time.

9. Positive emotions such as gratitude and appreciation help athletes perform at a higher level (Institute of HeartMath, 2012).

10. Positive people have more friends, which is a key factor of happiness and longevity (Putnam, 2000).

11. Positive and popular leaders are more likely to garner the support of others and receive pay raises and promotions and achieve greater success in the workplace.

The Cost of Negativity:

1. Ninety percent of doctor visits are stress related, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

2. A study found that negative employees can scare off every customer they speak with—for good (Rath, 2004).

3. At work, too many negative interactions compared to positive interactions can decrease the productivity of a team, according to Barbara Fredrickson’s research at the University of Michigan.

4. Negativity affects the morale, performance, and productivity of our teams.

5. One negative person can create a miserable office environment for everyone else.

6. Robert Cross’s research at the University of Virginia demonstrates that 90 percent of anxiety at work is created by 5 percent of one’s network—the people who sap energy.

7. Negative emotions are associated with decreased life span and longevity.

8. Negative emotions increase the risk of heart attack and stroke.

9. Negativity is associated with greater stress, less energy, and more pain.

10. Negative people have fewer friends.

Excerpt From The Positive Dog

Pos-Dog-Web

THE POSITIVE DOG

A Story about the Power of Positivity

We all have two dogs inside of us. One dog is positive, happy, optimistic, and hopeful. The other dog is negative, mad, sad, pessimistic, and fearful. These two dogs often fight inside us, but guess who wins the fight? The one you feed the most. So begins the story about a negative mutt named Matt and a big dog named Bubba who teaches him how to feed himself with positivity each day and in the process Matt transforms his own life and the shelter they call home.

The Positive Dog is an inspiring, heartwarming story that not only reveals the strategies and benefits of being positive but also an essential truth for humans: Being positive doesn’t just make you better. It makes everyone around you better.

For anyone looking to overcome negativity and challenges to become more positive, The Positive Dog provides the inspiration and action plan to feed yourself and your team with positivity. When you feed the positive dog and feed others, everyone benefits!

 

9 Ways to be a Positive Communicator – Jon Gordon

 

9 Ways to be a Positive Communicator

1. Shout Praise, Whisper Criticism – This phrase comes from the original Olympic Dream Team and Detroit Pistons coaches Chuck Daily and Brendan Suhr. They won NBA Championships and an Olympic Gold medal with a lot of talent and great communication. They gained the trust of their players and built winning teams by praising in public and constructively criticizing in private. Shouting praise means you recognize someone in front of their peers and whispering criticism means you coach them to get better. Both build better people and teams.

2. Smile More – When you share a real smile it not only produces more serotonin in your brain but in the brain of the recipient of your smile. Just by smiling at someone you are giving them a dose of serotonin, an anti-depressant. Never underestimate the power of a smile. As a positive communicator you have the power to make someone feel better just by smiling.

3. Don’t Complain – When you complain you lose power, effectiveness and credibility as a communicator and leader. Most of all complaining is toxic and sabotages you and your team. Complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards you feel better but everyone around you feels sick. I know it’s a gross analogy but you’ll never forget it.

4. Encourage – Truett Cathy said, “How do you know if a man or woman needs encouragement? If they are breathing.” We all need encouragement and positive communicators encourage and inspire others to do more and become more than they ever thought possible. Great communicators are great encouragers.

5. Spread Positive Gossip – Instead of sharing negative gossip, be the kind of communicator who spreads positive news about people. My college lacrosse teammates Mike Connelly and Johnny Heil are famous for this. Whenever you talk to them they are always praising our mutual friends. “Did you hear how awesome so and so is doing? Their kids are doing great!” They never say a negative word about anyone. They always spread the positive news and the best part is that you know when you are not around they are likely sharing something positive, not negative about you.

6. Sometimes You Have to Listen More and Talk Less – Positive communicators don’t just talk. They listen. They ask questions and really listen. Research shows that when people feel like they are seen and heard there is a moistening in the eyes and yet in 90% of our conversations there is no moistening in the eyes. Positive communicators make others feel important by listening to them and truly hearing what they have to say.

7. Welcome Feedback – Positive communicators also listen to and welcome ideas and suggestions on how they can improve. They don’t fear criticism. They welcome it knowing it makes them better. They send a clear signal to their team, customers, coaches, etc. that they are always willing to learn, improve and grow. Positive communicators say “I’m open. Make me better. Let’s get better together.”

8. Celebrate Success – Instead of focusing on what went wrong each day, positive communicators focus on what went right. They celebrate their successes, even the small ones, knowing that small wins lead to big wins.

9. Give High Fives, Handshakes, Pats on the Back, Fist Bumps and Hugs When Appropriate – Positive communication isn’t just verbal. It’s also physical. Several studies have demonstrated the benefits of physical contact between doctors and patients, teachers and students and professional athletes. For example in one study the best NBA teams were also the touchiest (high fives, pats on the back, hugs). In a world where physical touch has become taboo because of misuse and abuse we must remember that it is a way we humans communicate naturally and is very powerful and beneficial when done appropriately with good intention. Personally I’m a fist bumper and a hugger. When I meet people at speaking engagements I give them a choice. Bump or Hug. Whichever they are more comfortable with is great with me.

Reblogged: Jon Gordon

Loving Tough, Children

LOVE TOUGH

By Jon Gordon

 

I believe in tough love.

If you are a leader, manager, coach, teacher or parent, caring about someone often requires you to challenge and push them to improve, grow and reach their full potential.

Even the best athletes in the world have a coach to push them.

But for tough love to work, love must come first.

We must love tough to bring out the best in those we lead!

If people know you care about them they will be more receptive to you pushing them.

On the other hand if you put tough before love you’re more likely to face resistance.

As Andy Stanley says, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.”

The old dictator tough, without love, style of leadership no longer works.

Having spent time with a number of professional and college sports teams it’s clear that even athletes who seem to have it all want to know that their coach cares about them. The best coaches love their players and their players know it and play harder and are more loyal to that coach.

The same is true for education and business.

Research shows that test scores go up when students have a relationship with their teacher.

Numerous engagement surveys show that people are more engaged at work when they know their manager / boss cares about them.

So keep pushing your people to be their best. If you are parent like me, keep pushing your kids to reach their full potential.

Your team needs your toughness to grow!

But remember to put love first.

Make relationships a priority.

Your love will create the right conditions for growth to happen!

Love + Tough = Growth

Do you agree with love tough?

20 Tips for a Positive New Year

20 Tips for a Positive New Year (Updated for 2012)

20121. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.

2. Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “Thank You Walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

3. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

4. Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.

5. Instead of being disappointed about where you are, think optimistically about where you are going.

6. Remember that adversity is not a dead-end but a detour to a better outcome.

7. Don’t chase success. Instead decide to make a difference and success will find you.

8. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.

9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

10. Mentor someone and be mentored by someone.

11. Live with the 3 E’s. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.

12. Remember there’s no substitute for hard work.

13. Believe that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.

14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. Remember that complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards you feel better but everyone around you feels sick.

15. Read more books than you did in 2011. I happen to know of a few good ones. 🙂

16. Don’t seek happiness. Instead decide to live with passion and purpose and happiness will find you. www.Seed11.com

17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.

18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:

I am thankful for __________.

Today I accomplished____________.

19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.

20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.

-Jon Gordon

Download, Print and Share these tips as a PDF flyer.

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